Advice is not necessarily needed or appreciated. However, because it seems to be inevitable that people just want to add their two cents, it might be helpful to have a few tricks up your sleeve to help you through an unsolicited advice "situation." After all, some of the advice relating to your infant may be worth hearing, so don't tune it all out. But be prepared -- some advice givers can get pushy, doubt your judgment, and/or overstep their bounds.
If you come across a pushy advice giver, try a few simple phrases to gently avoid seeming interested in continuing the conversation, such as:
- How interesting!
- I see….
- Yes, I've heard of that before….
- Thank you…I'll have to remember that.
Phrases like these can help you avoid hurting the feelings of the advice giver and allow you to move on without advancing the conversation. Go on doing things the way you see fit.
When someone comments or offers advice on something they see you doing, it's hard not to feel as though you are being judged or criticized. It is likely, however, that it is not the intention of the person offering the advice to be judgmental or critical.
Nine times out of ten, those giving out unsolicited advice are usually focusing more on their experiences rather than making a judgment of yours. The fact that you have a baby gives them the opportunity to talk about what they did and offer what they probably feel is unique insight to offer.
Try to be polite, but also try to keep these conversations short. Most of the time, it is someone that most likely has your best interests at heart and is just trying to be helpful.
Some people don't consider that many of the decisions regarding your baby are highly personal and are for you and your partner to decide privately. It is up to you as to how you handle the influx of advice on raising your child. Don't let it push your patience beyond its limits -- be grateful that there are people that care enough to share their thoughts with you.